Spiritual & Inspirational Sunday February 28, 2010

Welcome to my Spiritual & Inspirational Sunday post. For over twenty-five years I have collected various spiritual and inspirational quotes and messages. My hope is that when you read these, you will pause and reflect. Perhaps you will share this post with a friend who just so happens to be in need of reading what I am sharing today.

Much to my delight, I recently ran across the email forward I am sharing in this post. It is one I received many years ago. Although quite comical to read it is a reminder of the differences between men and women which often results in miscommunication. As we all know, miscommunication can sometimes result in terrible consequences.

For the women reading this, I hope it will be a reminder to you to stop the “stinkin thinkin” you might do in your own mind. Just talk. For the men reading this, I hope this will give you some insight into what can happen when there is no communication. Say what you mean, mean what you say and don’t say it mean.

The Difference Between Men and Women…

Let’s say a guy named William is attracted to a woman named Julie. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asked her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly and after awhile neither one is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Julie and without really thinking, she says out loud: “Do you realize that as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other exactly for six months?”

And then there is silence in the car.

To Julie, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: “Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push into some kind of commitment that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of it.

And William is thinking: Gosh, six months.

And Julie is thinking: But hey, I’m not sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space so I’d have time to think about whether I really want to us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward…I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Do I really know this person?

And William is thinking: …so that means it was… let’s see… February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s which means…lemme check the odometer…whoa! I am overdue for an oil change here.

And Julie is thinking: He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I ‘m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment, maybe he has sensed-even before I sense it-that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected.

And William is thinking: And I’m gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don’t care what those morons say, it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It’s 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Julie is thinking: He’s angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure.

And William is thinking: They’ll probably say it’s only a 90-day warranty…scumballs.

And Julie is thinking: Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when  I’m sitting next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems truly to care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And William is thinking:  Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a warranty. I’ll take their warranty and ….

“William,” Julie says out loud.

“What?” says William, startled.

“Please don’t torture yourself like this,” says Julie, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. “Maybe I should never have… Oh God, I feel so…” as she begins to sob.

“What?” says William.

“I am such a fool,” Julie sobs. “I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.”

“There’s no horse?” says William, wondering what she means.

“You think I’m a fool don’t you? Julie says.

“No!” says William, glad to finally know the correct answer.

“It’s just that… it’s that I… I need some time,” Julie says.

(There is a 15-second pause while William, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally, he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) “Yes,” he says.

(Julie, deeply moved, touches his hand.) “Oh William, do you really feel that way?” she says.

“What way?” says William.

“That way about time,” says Julie.

“Oh,” says William,. “Yes.”

(Julie turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to  become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a white horse. At last she speaks.)  “Thank you, William,” she says.

Then, he takes her home and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul and weeps until dawn whereas when William gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what so he figures he is better off if he doesn’t even think about it.

The next day Julie will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours in painstaking detail. They will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, and possible ramification.  They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks and maybe even months never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, William, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Julie’s, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: “Norm, did Julie ever own a horse?”   Source Unknown

And, that is the difference between men and women.   Blessings!  …susan